we will, all of us – be consumed in these fires

Metavore and I were talking about the site statistics. 

About how to find out how many of the page visits were me, and were him – and how many might have been other people.


This is what I said to him (though, I have to be honest, here – I did actually end up looking up what my IP was!)


I’m honestly not too worried about specifics. I don’t need to know exactly who is going there, and when. It’s enough just see that one graph, that maybe one or two people are coming by there. I think I’ll probably stick to checking that every once in a while, for the most part, or I’ll get too wrapped up in googling IP addresses all day!

I feel like it’s a matter of patience, and work- work because I need to keep consistently writing new stuff, and bringing old stuff over (the amount of stuff I haven’t moved over yet is still pretty vast!)

But patience because I feel like it’s a matter of the right words, the one post that is really going to speak to one person- getting in front of those particular eyeballs, at exactly the time at which they will resonate most

But which words

And which eyeballs

I have no way of knowing

But I feel like if that happens, with one person

They will read more

And maybe be changed

And maybe tell their friends, for whom they might know which words will speak to them

But I need to actually get enough of the words moved to the blog before that can happen

So IP addresses, they are maybe more noise than real information, here

But I’m not sure!


I know you’re working, but for when you get back:

After I realized discord was not working the way I had hoped it would, I began, not always, but frequently- largely-

Writing to that future person.
For that future time.

Because you know what?

That cashier? [Metavore had mentioned running into someone who said he did not care, really, if he died from COVID]

That was me, on the street- carried to its logical conclusion. I am nothing, if not thorough.

(That was hyperbole!)

But you get what I’m trying to say. When I do a thing, I’ma do it all the way. And that kind of apathy- taken

all the way


Leads only to death, eventually.

Unless it does NOT


And now that I’ve found a way out of that

A way that I believe is sustainable

That can be distilled into systems that can apply to humans, and not just particular identity groups

I have to try to share it

It’s the only thing

Like Lizzie: [from Altered Carbon]

It is the only path

That I can see, anyway!


But all this anger in the world

All this apathy

All this unrest

It has to stop

Or where will it go?

What will happen?

We will, all of us, be consumed in these fires


I mean

….No pressure?


I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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