press-start

 

I’ve been thinking about Starting Things some today

Like, broadly

I am not sure, even, where I intend to go with this channel itself

But now that I’ve started it

I’ll keep going

Continuing things, for me, never really gets easy

But continuing things is still easier than Starting them

I was thinking about this earlier, in a different context

But decided to write about it, now- while taking the trash cans back up the driveway

We have a pretty long driveway

And earlier, when I’d gone to collect my hat from where Barley, our neighbor’s dog had probably dropped it in her excitement upon running back home with loot

(Or maybe when she’d realized it was not, in fact, very tasty)

I had brought up one of the trash cans, because I was there anyway, and it wasn’t too much extra effort

We keep them behind the house, which requires opening a gate
So I figured I’d do that part later, and left that trash receptacle in front of the garage
I just went for a walk with our dogs, and on the way back to the house, brought up the other can, since that also was little extra effort
I left it next to the trash can

And almost went back into the guest house
But, after I had the thought that it wouldn’t be too much trouble to just bring it next to the gate
To make it easier to put back where it belongs later

After having that thought, and noting the slight guilt or hesitation I felt after almost deciding not to even do that

Well, then I started walking with one of them towards the gate

And, once I got there

It was almost easier to just keep going

Than it would have been to stop the momentum

So, once I made the decision to start

I went farther than I had any intention to

Just… kept going

Kept that momentum, going

Earlier this morning, and last night, I was thinking about something similar, ish

I realized yesterday, when writing in…. well, somewhere here

That there was an interesting chain of progression in some events of my life, of late

In February/March, ish, I had begun trying to infect some of my friends with my newfound happiness

It was largely unsuccessful
(Heh)

But one of the things that I did, to that end, was to challenge a couple friends to a long-distance Rap Battle

Thinking it would be something Fun, and New

I started this server not long after that

Mostly because, at the time, I just had too much I wanted to talk about all the time to realistically pour it all out at one or even two people

No one has that kind of time!

My first YouTube video
I’ve since taken it down

But it was me attempting to do Homicide by Logic
It’s in the rap battle channel now, I think, though it’s pretty imperfect

The thing is
That video, uploaded with the intention to just share with a couple friends

Helped me view YouTube as less Scary
And so I started making more videos, closer to the content I wanted to make
And, eventually, came back to discord and began focusing my energies here

I still have no idea what I’m doing, no idea where this is going – no idea where I am going

But I definitely had no idea at the time I filmed Homicide
That something so seemingly inconsequential could result in such powerful effects rippling throughout the rest of my life

But, once I Started

It was a little less difficult to keep going
To keep exploring
I feel like the rap video thing might be a good example of what I was talking about in the post about coincidences

But perhaps

This topic as a whole
Also has something to do with what I wrote in whimsical wake ups (on the discord server)

And in finding the magic

There’s something about mornings, I think

A time when I have a chance to start fresh

Because, over the course of even just one day

There are so many potential obstacles

So many things with the potential to cause me to lose momentum

But if I can get that momentum going, right out the gate, as soon as I wake up- with enough intensity

Then, I am better equipped to build bridges above those daily obstacles, or to tunnel underneath them

Instead of slamming into them

With enough force

That all momentum

                                                             STOPS

brooke

I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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