open-source life girl!

Alright.

Time to metaphorically crack my knuckles, once again.

Leaves the room to effect a change in costume

 

Runs back in wearing the same outfit

 

I am now….

Open-Source Life Girl!!

 

Like many of my recent transformations

this began out of utility

 

and I have only later ascribed reasons as to why I believe this is a good choice, for me- right now.

I said, in the previous little blurb about Open-Source Life, that my reason was largely because I was so excited to talk about stuff all the time

and that was partly true

 

But the initial impetus was that of deciding to upload medical records and stuff to Dropbox

I believe that there may be some interesting physiological changes that have occurred in me, directly due to my endeavors to Build a Better Brooke

But when I talked about these

most people assumed what I said was sourced in fear, or worry – anxiety

 

So I thought that maybe sharing my full EKG/Samsung Health records might help

might help to illustrate the patterns I believe I’ve seen, over time, in ways that showed how these ideas come not from fear, but from excitement

 

Spoiler Alert:

It did not. No one cared enough to look!

 

But that’s okay

Because my decision to do that – to share that stuff

and to make it an official statement, in my own mind – a specific goal, to work towards making my life open-source

 

is in line, ultimately, with the goals of The Project

 

I have a system

that works, for me

to maintain things like sobriety, productivity – happiness

but I do not yet know the best way to distill these things

do not yet know the words

to communicate these things, in a way that others might find utility from, as well

 

Since all I know is what worked for me,

and how I got to where I am, right now (though I’m still working on figuring out the ‘whys’, in addition to the ‘hows’!)

The only thing I can think to do, is to publicize anything I think could potentially be relevant

about my own life, and the chains of causality that led to various aspects of this system that is Brooke

Mistakes

and victories

both

and until I Find More of the Words

The best that I can do is, well, a bit of a fumbling around in the dark process

 

As I learn more about how people hear the words I say

I will get better at making my system into more of a universal one

but it will take time

and more minds than just my own

But, as Charles Pierce once said:

What is utility, if it is confined to a single accidental person? Truth is public.”

 

 

We all have stories.

We all have knowledge, the kind of knowledge that is visceral

that comes from experiencing

from witnessing

from doing

from learning

about life

and all the myriad people within it

 

and we all

tend to hoard this knowledge,

I feel like

 

Not intentionally, for the most part!

but hoarding

is what happens

when we assume that others wouldn’t want to hear what we have to say

when we assume that others don’t want to learn from our experiences

when we assume that a thing that makes us feel better

would not, for another

 

many times, those things are true

But – I feel like, for me

people want to hear what I have to say, when I say it well

and that others want to learn from my experiences, when I show them how like them I am.

And

when a thing that makes me feel better, does not, for someone else-

I kind of assume that I haven’t done a good enough job distilling the fundamentals of the thing

in a way that is more universal

 

I believe that I have a program for being human

That works

But it’s a little unwieldy, right now

A lot….wordy

A lot- specific to me

 

So, as Open-Source Life Girl

I am offering my coding

For anyone who would like to go over it

So that, maybe

Together

We can pool our knowledge

Our resources

-of being human

 

No longer hoard happiness

Hoard growth

Hoard knowledge

 

I believe that it is in my best interest

For the people around me to be more self-sufficient

For the people around me, to be happier

For all of us

To foster forgiveness

Over anger

 

I have realized, of late

That if I believe Anger is Inefficient

Then the least efficient thing that I can do, in response

Is to get angry about it

To add more anger

When I try to cultivate empathy

For myself, and for those around me

I believe that the people around me are more likely to do so, as well

Towards me, and the people around them

And I am happiest, and therefore the most productive- when I am being approached with empathy, over anger

So, you see?

It really is all about efficiency

About rationality, despite being largely in regards to things that are

 

Non-rational

 

brooke

I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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