music so loud I couldn’t hear my thoughts

 

You guys know that Modest Mouse song, The World at Large?

 

That song has come in and out of my life a number of times since I first heard it, and was definitely an anthem of mine at multiple periods of time.

 

There’s that line in it

 

My thoughts were so loud

I couldn’t hear my mouth

 

That song

I feel like

Is a different sounding version of The Search, by NF

 

Highlighting a different aspect, maybe

of the same kind of thing

 

A sadder, more wistful Search, maybe

But a Search nonetheless

 

It’s all about Drifting

 

Went to the porch to have a thought

Got to the door and again I couldn’t stop

 

Every new season

Every new day, and-

 

Walked on off to another spot

I still haven’t got anywhere that I want

 

Wandering

Searching

Drifting

Unsettled

 

My thoughts, in the car a bit ago

Were getting a little too loud

 

So I turned the volume knob on the stereo up

Not this song, a different one

But it made me think about that line, from this song

 

And what I said the other day about loud music, in forgiveness

Well, what I didn’t say, actually

 

About one of the ways that music has grown to become such a powerful tool in my life

 

Sometimes I feel like that is what I do

When I get in those crazy spirals of Not Helpful sorts of thoughts

 

if I notice that happening

And have enough presence of mind to at least try to slow that kind of roll

 

well, then

I turn the volume

UP

 

For a time.

Until it is safe to think them again.

brooke

I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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