music so loud I couldn’t hear my thoughts


You guys know that Modest Mouse song, The World at Large?


That song has come in and out of my life a number of times since I first heard it, and was definitely an anthem of mine at multiple periods of time.


There’s that line in it


My thoughts were so loud

I couldn’t hear my mouth


That song

I feel like

Is a different sounding version of The Search, by NF


Highlighting a different aspect, maybe

of the same kind of thing


A sadder, more wistful Search, maybe

But a Search nonetheless


It’s all about Drifting


Went to the porch to have a thought

Got to the door and again I couldn’t stop


Every new season

Every new day, and-


Walked on off to another spot

I still haven’t got anywhere that I want







My thoughts, in the car a bit ago

Were getting a little too loud


So I turned the volume knob on the stereo up

Not this song, a different one

But it made me think about that line, from this song


And what I said the other day about loud music, in forgiveness

Well, what I didn’t say, actually


About one of the ways that music has grown to become such a powerful tool in my life


Sometimes I feel like that is what I do

When I get in those crazy spirals of Not Helpful sorts of thoughts


if I notice that happening

And have enough presence of mind to at least try to slow that kind of roll


well, then

I turn the volume



For a time.

Until it is safe to think them again.


I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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