how communication can be – a dance


Sometimes I try to imagine what Pico has in his head, like when he rubs his face against my leg, or furniture

I’ve heard that this is a thing that Cats do

To mark territory

That they have a scent gland there that deposits some kind of ‘this is my human’ or ‘this is my table’ scent on the object in question

But I have a hard time imagining that Pico is doing that with the awareness of it being some evolved territorial thing

He seems to do it most when he is happiest

I’m not sure about that

But, maybe-

Maybe Cat brains are like Human brains, in a way

And maybe he does this thing because his brain has evolved in a way that makes him want to do that thing, when he feels like he is Home

And then it just happens. Then he just does it, because it’s what feels good to do


When I play with my cats

I try to play at their intensity

That may not make sense…


So, when they seem to be highly active

I try to match that

But not exceed it

And when they are less energetic

I try to match that

But also, not exceed it

Unless I am trying to gently bring up one of their moods!

It’s like…. the dancing analogy
(Or is metaphor?)

But I try to lead

By deciding when I should let them lead

When I let my energy exceed theirs

When I am not doing so for a specific reason, and therefore not doing it gently (by trying to assess things like consent, despite such communication barriers as not speaking the same language)

I think that may be when Play becomes something else, a little bit

Something rough

This, I also try to keep in mind when I interact with Humans

But it is much easier to dance this Dance, with Cats
Than it is with humans!

I’ll need to think about this more, before I try communicating this particular thing I have in my head!


I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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