felony class violations

In my head

In this place that Brooke, but that I think of in lots of different ways, depending on the situation and the context

There are community guidelines

There are rules

And there are Laws

I started talking about it in brooklandia codes of law

This is part of how I incorporate games and ‘no pain’ into my own particular version of minmax life (my lifemax equations), to teach myself how to be a better Brooke

By focusing on reward, instead of punishment

By making learning more of the werd learning, and not the word learning

The word learning – the concept

Is too broad for me

Includes the kind of learning that is learning by rote

Learning from being punished for my mistakes

Learning through – not lectures, but from being lectured at

The werd learning, in my head, then, in the context like I’ve been using the ‘werd’ werk

Is when I learn most efficiently

By laughing:

 

I tell a story in that video

Another Wide Eyed Stupid kind of story

In which I smashed my fingers in the garage door

 

And I laughed

Not a bitter laugh

Not the kind of laugh where I am laughing to run from pain

But laughing as I run toward it, maybe

Laughing in relief

As I channeled the hurt into something else, in a way that I knew, on some deeper level

Was going to stick with me

Was going to actually aid in preventing me from repeating that same mistake again

 

No judgment

Just a realization of having made a mistake

Committed an error

That I was lucky to have been able to learn from with the mild consequences that I incurred then, when it could have been much worse

So, felony class violations are the second most severe violations in Brookelandia

 

They are things like being Wide Eyed Stupid

I have begun actually stopping what I’m doing

 

If I say “This is a terrible idea!”

No matter what the “but..” is that my brain follows that with

Not always

I went for a walk with a friend of mine recently

I talked about in somewhere in this maze of a server

I’d fallen off my skateboard

Earlier in the walk, I had been on it, trying to go down a hill

And I said that; “this is a terrible idea!”

Out loud

And immediately got off

And told her the story I told in the Brooke explains Wide Eyed Stupidity video

 

But later

I tried sitting on it

With no shoes on

On a curved section of downhill road

It seemed fun!

Partway down

I had that thought

Didn’t say it out loud

Didn’t make it real enough

And dismissed it

 

And got myself pretty good falling off my board at a decent speed- first time I’ve ever fallen

Because I tend to generally jump off before the point at which I’ve lost control – at the point at which I am merely beginning to lose control

 

That is a great example, to my mind, of Wide Eyed Stupidity

Because I knew better

And therefore, could not blame anyone or anything else

But that kind of blame can be caustic

If we are not careful about how we are thinking of it

 

When I make it something like being Wide Eyed Stupid, instead

Then it becomes more freeing

A way to learn instead of blame myself

And therefore, a way for me- to actually get better at not repeating the same mistakes

brooke

I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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