fabricating fortune

I wrote yesterday in #songs-giving-you-the-feels that good days do not happen to me.
Part of that process involves tweaking my TBF (tricksy brain factor) knob in particular ways
This also ties pretty directly to the lifemax equations, because that action, rain-proofing stuff – resolved more than just the problem of stuff Getting Wet.
I continue to be astonished at how frequently fixing one problem will also end up helping to fix others, in ways that I could not have predicted!
This morning
But, even if I had- it would have been stressful
I perform so poorly under stress that it’s almost like I can’t function
So I’ve been trying all sorts of methods to not be stressed, hardly ever
Whether it’s not watching the news, or not reading Facebook posts that start out in ways that seem like they might cause me to feel stressed
(Or, perhaps, being better about not clicking things with titles like #human-trafficking when I am already feeling emotionally vulnerable, Nick. Silly goose!)
Anyway. One of the things that renders me nearly nonfunctional is time pressure.
And there would have been time pressure had I put rain-proofing off until this morning.
When I rush, I drop things.
Knock them over.
Make messes.
Forget things.
It’s bad.
And I just know by now that that is what would have happened this morning had I put it off
This has to do with yet another topic I have yet to really broach, which is that of making decisions out of desperation. I have a lot to say about that, eventually
But it is, in brief, related to feeling trapped within a certain, limited range of choices.
Feeling time pressure, or pressure to do something we don’t feel okay with doing or continuing to do
Feeling like we have no other choice
I am starting to believe that if I haven’t identified a solution to a problem I’m having, to an obstacle I’m facing- that I just haven’t been diligent or creative enough in seeking alternative solutions.
But when I am deliberate about things, I identify potential problems before they happen
And act appropriately, when I can do so calmly, in a way that is more efficient because I’m not creating more work as I go along by making further messes and such
This, I would say, also ties into the #work-songs channel, and making ‘Work’- ‘Werk’
My luck gets better
Because I head off problems before they happen
Especially those caused by my own damn clumsiness and laziness!
And then, like this morning-
I can sit and fully enjoy the rain,
the thunder and the lightning


I spent three years living on the street in Los Angeles. I came out of that, changed. This is my story.

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