This is a little late, but this is how it happened, so – whatever.
I thought I would try to take a moment to explain the codes of law thing.
I have had a vague sort of awareness of having my own, internal moral code- specific to me- for a while, now.
Over time, it has become more clarified within my mind, and has begun to be something I at least endeavor to not use in judgement of others.
Only in judgement on myself.
But that also – is not judgment in the usual sense.
My moral code is classified based on the severity of the violations
And violations never lead to permanent sorts of Life Sentences
Because that is punishment
I can’t remember what I wrote in that channel, at the moment
But I doubt I’ve fully fleshed out my current feelings about punishment there, yet
I have started to believe that punishment is never necessary – in the sense that the best conceivable option is to punish.
Ourselves, or others
Sometimes it is, however – the least worst option
Which is better than worst worst
But still not best
So when I hold judgment over myself, which I do pretty frequently, it is with the goal in mind of not repeating that transgression
And for me, punishment does not aid in that goal, in a general sense.
I do, however – incur…. fines.
Since we cannot change the past
I try to work towards righting things, in whatever way I am able to
Sometimes I cannot even do so in a way that affects the people I’ve wronged – either because I don’t know how to find them, or because I don’t have the emotional reserves to attempt to make things right with them, personally, at the moment
But if I can teach myself to be better
Then I feel like that pays back some of the fines I’ve incurred, over time
in net value to my life and the lives of others that I will not hurt in the way I’ve hurt people in the past.
Even if it’s just avoiding causing future pain – though I’ve found, more and more frequently- that the sorts of changes in behavior that have resulted from this process have value
far beyond just avoiding future costs/pain