When overwhelmed, I used to describe life as a game of whack-a-mole, but the moles are reproducing underground and will eventually outnumber you, and they will whack you!
Now I see that I’m in an asteroid field.
Every time I hit an asteroid, I feel an explosion of guilt/failure.
But half of the asteroids are actually dangerous debris or delayed damage from old miscalculations (intentionally did not use the word mistakes)!
So my old move was “avoid each asteroid!” aka minimize the momentary explosions of guilt. Even if that led me to fly into a more dense area.
The thing to realize, then, is that this old ship can take some damage!
The “avoid moments of conflict” strategy makes it impossible to learn how to fly well.
Stop trying to avoid all hits. Locally, minimax. Take the little hits to avoid the worst ones. And globally, long-term, learn to navigate out of the asteroid field, because there is such a place!
I know there is such a place. Because I see that the way out for me involves taking some damage, but I also see that I have friends who happily spend their weekends playing games with friends. And I’m flying there.